The Clay and the Potter: What Isaiah 45 Teaches Us About Parenting
Posted on February 2, 2024 • 4 minutes • 735 words
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva from PexelsWoe to you who strive with your Maker, earthen vessels with the potter! Does the clay say to the one who fashions it, “What are you making”? or “Your work has no handles”? Woe to anyone who says to a father, “What are you begetting?” or to a woman, “With what are you in labor?” Thus says the lord, the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: Will you question me about my children, or command me concerning the work of my hands? I made the earth, and created humankind upon it; it was my hands that stretched out the heavens, and I commanded all their host.
First of all, let’s just acknowledge the hilariousness of “Woe to anyone who says to a woman, ‘with what are you in labor?” Who is bothering women in the middle of labor, asking them what they’re having? Was this a normal occurrence in ancient Israel?
There’s a lot of things in motherhood that no one really talks about. One of those things is fear, specifically, the fear of who your child is going to turn out to be. As much fun as kids can be, at any age, they can also be terrifying. The first time your small child hits a friend at school, or your elementary-schooler gets caught cheating, or your teenager shoplifts or smokes or ditches school…these are all moments that can induce panic. We probably all know quite a few people who were “screw ups” who are now doing just fine, but we also probably know quite a few people who are now not doing well. And we want so much for our kids to be okay.
When your kid messes up in a big way, it’s pretty normal to go, “God, what is going on here? Who am I raising? What is going to happen to this kid if they can’t get it together?”
This verse from Isaiah indicates that it’s above our paygrade to question God about our child’s purpose. Or, to put it in another vernacular, we are being told to stay in our lane.
But, we all say, that IS our lane! Motherhood requires us to have our eyes on things both near and far. We are in the here and now, the day-to-day, the instructing and modeling and guiding - and that is heavy work no matter the age of your kids. But there’s also the distant future - the day when they go off to be adults in the world - and that is what we are raising them for. The day when they go to school or work and have to navigate everything on their own. When they have to learn how to take care of their responsibilities and contribute and strengthen their communities and families.
We’re not wrong - as mothers we have to have our eyes on the day-to-day and the far-off goal - raising children into adults. This verse brings us up against a hard truth - that ultimately, no matter what we do and how hard work, there is so much that is outside of our control. We can do everything “right,” and still watch them fail.
We are after all, raising humans - who need to be independent and autonomous to be their best selves. Perhaps that is where this verse comes in - it reminds us of our limits. We can (and should!) do a lot - we should do our absolute best to raise children into capable, caring, confident adults. We can, and should, recognize that we can only do so much, and all we can do past that point is be there for them when they need us, and then trust our Maker for the rest.
Dear God, you are our Maker, the potter who fashioned the earth and heavens, and who creates us each and all. Help us to work with you God, as we shape and guide our children. Help us when we struggle to relinquish control over their lives. Help us to recognize their humanity - the good and bad, the joyful and the hard. Guide us as we prepare them for the world. Be with us and with them as they become adults - allow us to recognize the limited scope of our abilities. Light their paths as they step into the world to find their way. Amen.