Change and Become Like Little Children

Posted on May 5, 2023  •  5 minutes  • 953 words

¹At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” ² He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³ And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ⁵ And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

           Matthew 18:1-5

    One of the great joys of parenting, something I hear and read about parents experiencing all the time, is seeing the world through a child’s eyes. This sentiment is especially prevalent around holiday times, but is true regardless of the time of year. I get so much joy out of my childrens’ joy - seeing their faces light up when they see a Christmas tree or birthday decorations. To me, it is nice, but not transcendent. Seeing the authentic wonder on their faces and hearing their expressions of awe - there’s nothing quite like that.

    Interestingly, one of the hardest things about parenting is the flip side of that coin - seeing the world through your child’s eyes. When they are frustrated, tired, screaming in the grocery store, refusing to put their shoes on, or fighting a nap, seeing the problem through the eyes of your child can feel like a monumental task.

“There is always grace for our inevitable mistakes”

    When my kids are struggling, and I stop, get on their level, and ask them what it is they’re experiencing or feeling, things go much more smoothly and comfortably around our house. I try to do this as much as possible - to ask them, “Hey, tell me how I can help you out here.” When I don’t take this approach, and instead just get more demanding, everyone gets grumpy and the day is just harder for us all.

    This Scripture points us towards a simple practice - empathy. We are to become like a child. To see that for a small person with limited life experience, vocabulary, and ability to vocalize or regulate emotions, something like a too tight shoe can feel like the end of the world.

    As a mother, I often struggle to help my children deal with the steps and frustrations that come with just getting through the day. I have to frequently remind myself to see it through their eyes, that some things are just beyond their physical, emotional, or mental capacity for any number of reasons. That means I have to put aside my pride, frustration, and feelings. I have to remind myself that I am the adult in the house, and while all of my feelings are valid (just like my kids’!), I have to meet my kids where they are. In fact, their yelling, whining, and crying is them asking me to do that. On my end, there is so much give, and on their end it’s all take - I have to meet them where they are. There’s not really any meeting in the middle once we’ve reached the tantrum stage.

    This Scripture is one of many great examples where Jesus literally says - when you do this thing for someone else, you are doing it for me. Through a simple (though not always easy) practice - empathy - we are making room in our lives and the lives of our children for the love of God. We get to experience the world through a child’s eyes, to show them that things that are big and frustrating or scary are, in fact, manageable. When we welcome our children’s full spectrum of feelings - joy and excitement, as well as frustration and anger, we welcome God into our lives. We show them empathy, patience, love, and guidance, just as God has shown us.

    When I’m frustrated and annoyed - God is the one who gives, and I am the one who takes. When I’m the one experiencing the big and hard feelings (because why, WHY will my child not just find and put on his shoes!), God is the one who meets me where I’m at and says, “hey, tell me how I can help you out here?”

    In these types of situations, we are the children, and God is the perfect parent. No matter how much we try, that level of perfect love is simply unattainable for us. God is always giving, and we are always taking, and we can never reciprocate to God the perfect love that God gives to us. Interestingly, this Scripture also reminds us that one of the ways God asks us to serve is to serve others - to welcome children, to follow the example of Jesus, and to try to see the world through their eyes.

    At the end of the day, as always, God is offering us choices to make about how we go about our lives. Sometimes we are going to choose wrong. Luckily we have a loving God who gives us opportunities to try again. Luckily we can come back later and apologize to our children when we make poor choices. Luckily we have a perfect example and we can try to emulate it, knowing there is always grace for our inevitable mistakes.

    This Scripture reminds us that an empathetic approach to our children makes room in all our lives for the love of God. It reminds us all that God wants us to treat each other with empathy and understanding. God shows us love by always being willing to meet us where we’re at, and we can turn around and do the same.